Southern Strategy II

Moira has a followup post to mine, pointing out that my example of a local mechanic was hardly unique:

Would it was just your own neighborhood, honey. You don't know the half of it. Ignorant and oblivious, my life on the road has been a blur of Kwik King Koin laundromats and Klean Kween Kampgounds. And all unawares I've been supporting the insidious, invidious Karen, whose "Karen's Kountry Kitchens" I've breakfasted in at least a dozen times, from one coast of the country to another. This racist Jezebel has spread her tentacles as far as Thunder Bay, Ontario. The giveaway is in the URL. Just look at the name of this .jpg file!

As Aziz has noticed, auto repair and detailing businesses appear to be heavily into this kode, as exemplified by Kinney's Kar Kare Service Center of Oneida, New York, and Kosmetics Kwik Kare in Hollis, NH. They run hand in glove with the vast krafts konspiracy, comprising such establishments as Kuc's Kozy Krafts of Ladysmith, WI, Kocer's Kountry Krafts of Wagner, South Dakota, and Kate's Kraft Korner. (The southern strategy. Not just for the South anymore.) "Krafty", indeed. Let's not even get into Kozy Kitty Korner, Kopy Kat Karaoke, or Kwazy Kristian Koalition. (Shouldn't that by rights be "Kwazy Kwistian"? Bet you can't say "Kwazy Ka-ristian" three times fast.)

The skales have fallen from my eyes. I shall have to raise an eyebrow even at that kwintessence of southern kulture, Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Well, that's just two K's. But that may merely be especial kunning, that leaving "Korporation" implicit.

(yes, I get it. But you still have to wonder.) Look, I'm not paranoid, but then again, do YOU live in a city where the local country music station is KIKK? Perhaps K really is the new C in much the same way that green is the new pink. But to pretend that there isn't some degree of wink-wink-nudge-nudge going on is probably also unrealistic.

The bottom line is - 3 K's in your name is enough reason for me to avoid patronizing a business. I doubt those businesses will miss me. (and for teh record, I much prefer Shipley's to Krispy Kreme, and I think Wal Mart offers better oil change service than Kwik Kar).

No comments: